Puberty and Shrek Sized Insecurities

My oldest son, Jaden, recently attended his 5th grade maturation class.  For those of you who don't know, this is the class where public schools separate the boys and the girls, sit them in a awkward room, show a cheesy video on the birds and the bees and talk about what to expect during puberty.  My son was mortified.  He brought home the pamphlet that was given to him, "Mom" he said "you would not BELIEVE how many times the teacher said the word penis."  I know we are just talking body parts here, but there is a large part of me that is glad my 11 year old is uncomfortable discussing them.

Jaden, insecurity free, on a family trip.

My son also asked me a question that got me thinking, and thus is the reason for this post.  "Mom, the pamphlet says during puberty you can have in increase in insecurities.  Does that mean you worry about what people think about you and stuff? Because I do that."  And that's when it hit me.  I must be going through puberty...still.  Because I worry about what people think about me and stuff, a lot.

I had an encounter with a third grader this year that revealed just how much I care what other people think.  I helped out in my 3rd graders PE class this year and one of Cael's friends was very disrespectful to me.  Because of this, I did not allow my son to invite the boy to his birthday party.  Unfortunately, the boy found this out.  He then began his four month long tantrum where he called me a long list of 3rd grader insults. Every day he would tell Cael and Cael's other friends what he thought of me.   I was evil, mean, fat.  I had dragon teeth.  I was stupid. And the worst one;  I was as ugly as Shrek.   Really? Shrek?  I think I at least deserved Fiona.  The point is I really cared what this third grade boy, whom I had had one conversation with, thought about me.  Even though I don't like him, I wanted him to like me; needed him to like me.

I think to some degree we can all relate.  We want to be liked.  That's not a bad thing in and of itself.  But when the desire to be liked becomes bigger than our desire to please God, we have a problem.  When what others think of us becomes more important that what we think of ourselves or what our Lord thinks of us, we have a problem. And the answer is simple, though not easy.  We need to remember that we have inherent worth.

• You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well Psalm 139:13-15

•  Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Luke 12:7

•  I have loved you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3 

God created us, He knows us, He loves us.  God; creator of the universe, holds everything together, that God, He created me.  God; who knows more about DNA, astronomy and physics than any scientist that ever was, that God, He knows me.  God; who IS love, who created the very idea of love, that God, He loves me. When I realize these truths, it puts my insecurities into perspective.

So my job is to remind myself of these truths, and to impart to my sons these truths, so that eventually we can stop worrying about what other people think of us.  Puberty is not that fun; I would like for it to end.